Today I’m writing from my living room, where you will find my seven month old bouncing in his jungle themed bouncer, and you’ll find me on the couch with my laptop sipping a much needed cup of coffee (We started sleep training, aka I NEED MORE COFFEE) and holding onto a newly signed lease with our names on it. My eyes are fixated on the words… Southwest Waterfront, D.C.
This place will be my new home in a month! A MONTH!
Although it was just a little over a year ago that we moved to Virginia, I have recently began to feel at home, but I knew our stay would be short and now we are off to create a new home and a new community in Southwest Waterfront.
There are so many thoughts and emotions as move date approaches. There are a lot of what ifs, and what if not’s running through my mind. The city is going to bring so many new experiences and challenges. On one hand I am excited. My husband and I have been praying over this place since the day God burdened our hearts to go and plant a church there. The journey to get there has seemed long and short all at the same time. It has had its mountaintops and its valleys, as we watched our lack of faith be challenged by God sized miracles. And though we have watched God work in ways that only He can, there is still a sense of fear of the unknown.
I have no idea what city life is like, whether or not we will be able to find core team members, whether or not the church plant will get off the ground, whether or not we will make friends, whether or not we will be able to raise all our funds, etc… so there in lies the what ifs, and the what if not’s.
Some days I look at myself and wish I had a better sense of faith and trust in God. The days where we have seen God open a door or provide in a miraculous way are a lot easier than the mundane days where all I can do is pray, wait, and hope as I watch my husband carry the weight of this huge calling.
Some days I wish God had not called us to church plant. It has been hard to watch my man deal with not having a stable job, where he feels like he is lacking in his calling to provide for our family, or to watch him cry out to God in fear of feeling so incapable of this calling. It’s been hard to face the future, not knowing if we will be able to stay because of finances, or whether we will fail and the church will never grow.
Then there are the other days. The other days where all I can do is praise and thank God for the opportunity to get to do this. The other days where I realize how incredible it is that we get to go and serve, love and share Jesus with people, who right now don’t have a church doing that in their community. The days where I thank God for the gifts he has given us, and the drive and passion he has given my husband to carry out this call. The days where I look back on all He has done and all I can do is praise Him.
I know that this church planting journey is only going to get harder, so as we take one day and step at a time, I pray that God would make my faith stronger.
So here is to our ever changing journey, our new opportunities to grow, and our constant tests of faith.
May God be glorified.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior