I know that this New Year’s blog is a little late, but to be honest I’ve struggled with what I would say. If I were to describe my walk with God this past year in one word it would be “uncomfortable.”
Over the year I went from a mountain top experience where I was hearing from God so clearly, to a journey in the Wilderness where I saw only a few glimpses of Him. This year I have wanted so badly to be back on that mountain top, especially because there have been major changes and decisions to be made. I’ve found myself crying out asking God to speak to me through His Word and time with Him, but He seems to be guiding me through this wilderness of life quietly.
As I have made my way on this journey, I decided to go back and take a look at the Israelites journey through their wilderness. As I did, I came across a passage in Deuteronomy that has encouraged me.
“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man does not live on bread alone, but man lives by ever word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”
The Israelites were so caught up in the “here and now” that they missed out on the opportunity to see the Promised Land the Lord was to give them. God had them wander in the wilderness for forty years because they did not trust Him. The Israelites had to learn to be humble, to follow God’s commands, and to depend upon Him.
Just as they had lessons to learn, so have I. Here are a few of the lessons learned on this journey:
I love being on the mountain top and experiencing such intimacy and closeness to the Lord. I love having words from Him and sharing it with others. This year however, I haven’t had those and it is humbling. It is humbling when your husband or friend asks you what God is teaching you and you don’t have anything profound to say. It’s in these times that I have had to learn that God’s Words are enough.
Knowing my heart
As I have experienced this journey I have learned what is truly in my heart. I have learned weaknesses that Satan has tried to tempt me with. I have come to know sin that is in my life and I have come to know what is truly most important in my heart.
Living by every Word
Lastly, I’ve learned the importance of God’s Word. It is difficult to want to spend time in the Word of God when God seems to be silent. I have had to learn faithfulness on this journey. The Christian walk is not always easy and not always a mountain top. God has shown me what it means to be faithful to Him. To faithfully be in His Word every day though I may not always feel like it, because His Word is what I need to live this life day by day.
God had a purpose for sending the Israelites to wander through the Wilderness, just as He has a purpose for me in my wilderness.
I must remain faithful, and I pray that I will come out refined on the other side.
Are you going through a Wilderness of your own? What does God want to teach you in it?